I did my first paid stand-up comedy show

How cool is that? I opened up a showcase for two other comedians on a really special ticketed night. I remember walking up to the venue and seeing people lined up out the door. That was different than the usual collection of 3-4 people smoking cigarettes before diving back into the warm bar. This time there were people there. Waiting in the cold. To see That Guy. Who was ON THE POSTER. Yeah, there were posters made as well. It was so dope. Here’s a picture of me with the poster.

Yup, that’s me with a poster for a comedy show I was paid to do. Never thought I would ever write those words but here I am.

I was waaaaaaaay better prepared this time around. I knew I was going up first. I knew I should kick things off with a couple simple jokes ahead of time. I planned for that. I was a bit worried starting out. Because the people in front of me actually paid money to sit in those seats. But when that woman cackled as soon as I said “period pieces” it was all good. Do my thing. Don’t stop. Keep It Moving. Things flowed okay from there.

The beard jokes always do well. I don’t understand why. I really, really don’t. People just like to talk and discuss and joke about beards for whatever fucking reason. So I went back and did a whole thing about the beard again which was a bit new. Didn’t go perfectly and I missed some marks, but I think overall it was received well. Beards are a pretty safe topic to talk about, but where’s the fucking fun in that?

If there’s one thing I’m sure I’m good at by now it’s making a room full of people really uncomfortable. I’m not sure how much longer I could have milked that migrant crisis build-up before someone said something. You can hear someone making an awkward sound right before I poured the punch-line. Sounded like an uncomfortable humming. Then I (An American) told a room (with a bunch of Americans) that Americans are showing up to live in Lisbon uninvited. After I came to live here uninvited. But I came before them so it’s okay. I can do that.

The set didn’t finish that strong. I notice that when I end with new material I don’t finish as strongly with them. I need to do this more like a sandwich. Put stuff I know well at the start and end. You know, like two solid pieces of bread. They’re stable. They hold everything together. Then I can start experiments and adding some variety between the bread. I am so fucking hungry right now. It’s noon and I haven’t eaten anything here all day so I’m making a sandwich analogy now. Well, thanks to this show I can at least afford a sandwich. I’m gonna get that taken care of.