Diversifying my act - True Stories Told Live Lisbon

Well, I was really hoping to get this out before new years. I thought it would be fitting that the last post of 2018 is the True Stories Told Live event where I reflect on a pretty shitty week last year. Now that I’m here in 2019 I think it’s safe to say we can bump that week up to all of 2018. Holy shit what a complete fucking shitshow of drama and bullshit and weird shit and work shit and health shit and (watch the video) shit-shit. And then somehow I’m doing stand up comedy in the middle of it all. What a surreal way to live life Y’all. I’m fine with a slice of irony here and there, but damn it, life really wanted to give me the whole sausage this go around. Trying to be funny through a lot of bullshit is not easy. God damn imagine being someone who actually has to do big ass shows and you’re having a shitty day but people paid money to see you do your little jig under the lights and you better get your ass up and do it. I dunno man. I don’t think I’m built to scale like that.

It’s amazing I’ve had the opportunity to do so many packed shows. Most shows had more than 100 people. That’s a lot of fucking faces staring back at me while I’ve been trying to get a handle learning through this process. “Learning” might be dressing up what this process has felt like. Imagine stand up comedy is a dark hallway and I’m wearing a blindfold. It’s already dark. I have no idea why I’m wearing a blindfold. I’m stumbling through this dark hallway tripping over shit. Every once in a while I hear a bunch of laughter and I’m like GREAT. I’m gonna follow THAT. And I end up walking straight into the wall and now I’m not sure where that fucking sound even came from. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where the fuck this hallway is going. And every time I think I’ve got something figured out it out, I don’t, and I hit a wall.

I mean I could just stop. That would obviously be the easy move to make. Just stop. Settle down. If I don’t go anywhere I don’t have to hit any walls yo. Why keep chasing that shit. Who in their right mind would want to aimlessly stumble through some dark hallways with no end and continuously hit walls trying to chase after some laughter? Is that laughter really worth it?

Yes.

When I’m up there and I feel like things are working it is damn near the best fucking drug ever. Really. When you can say a couple words that provoke a deathly quiet room to roar it’s amazing. And that shit is not easy kids. I have watched people go up and receive silence for 10 minutes straight. I’ve had some silent shows myself. I’m definitely at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to talent. BUT, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have a few moments that took my breath away up there.

Literally. Check out the video below. Right here you can see me scan the crowd and take a breath cause their reaction was so abrupt and intense. I was not prepared for it. Like you really feel that energy coming at you. Your bones vibrate a bit. Your body starts pumping those feel-good drugs. You get that adrenaline. But there’s no time to enjoy that shit. You need to cut to the next joke. Oh, fuck. What was my next joke? My arm is still fucking tingling. That shit is overwhelming if you’re not used to it. I’m really not used to any of this. And it kinda feels like that’s how it’s would always be if I continued to do this. I think some people are built to perform. I am not one of them. I’m doing my best emulation.

Even if you don’t get overwhelmed by the moment It’s impossible to really know what will happen until you start talking into the mic. There are so many layers of difficulty here and those layers are very different for everyone. And they change from show to show and venue to venue. After all of this, I really admire those people who can go out there and do it every damn day so much more. That’s gotta be a crazy ass life and I’ll say it one more time for the stars. I could not do that shit. I enjoy counch time way too much ahah

So it hasn’t been a cakewalk. I would say it probably added a lot more pressure on an already difficult year. But the comedy really injected an interesting twist into all the calamity. Sometimes shit is gonna fall apart around you and that’s okay. Find a way to laugh (or make everyone else) and try to make the best of it. Even shitty situations can be funny.

I bet you want to see the whole shitshow that the story is about don’t you? Well you’re in luck - the whole thing was unfortuntely recorded. Enjoy!