I'm an English stand up comedian in Lisbon Portugal

The past two weeks were fun. I did four stand-up comedy shows in two weeks. I’m pretty sure that’s the most I’ve done in such a short span of time. Covering back to back days each week. I hosted one of the o.zebras shows. Did some “shitty” comedy with Lisbon Comedy. Then the next week I traveled to Porto to do my second comedy show up there. Then ran back to Lisbon the next day for a helping of “unnecessary” Lisbon Comedy.

I hosted another show with o.zebras which is soooooo much fun. They round up all the comedians and coordinate with the venue - Cargo111. I show up and meet them and the comedians for the evening. Figure out their experience with stand up comedy. Find out where people would prefer to go in the line-up. A lot of them I know at this point. There’s two English comedy shows in Lisbon so it isn’t hard to know most of the comedian that perform in English. Then, the show starts! And you neeeever know what’s going to happen. Some people are having bad nights and they bomb. I’ve seen good comedians have really bad nights. Me included. But the last show was great. I’ve gotten way better at managing the flow of the whole show. I keep the schedule tight. I love it when the audience is locked in and stays engaged. Here’s one way to know if the show is going reaaaally great. There’ a lot more people at the end of the show than when it started. We had one of those kinda nights and it felt awesome. Unfortunately everyone goes on vacation in August in Portugal. It’s like… a thing here. The whole damn country shuts down. So no shows with the o.zebras scheduled for a while.

The next day was SHITTY COMEDY NIGHT at crafty corner with Lisbon Comedy. Boooooooooooy did this crowd make people work for laugh. I haven’t gotten the video yet from that day but it felt a bit flat up there. And everyone was having a tough time so I’m not even gonna put that shit on me. The comedy was good. The crowd was shitty. I swear this shit happens and there’s nothing you can do sometimes. You have a room full of people that have collectively decided they’re not going to be entertained that evening. I was trying some new stuff at the end of my set and there was so little response I just said fuck it and gave up half way through. Like it’s fine to not laugh at bad jokes but if people aren’t going to even try and have a good time i’ll save this shit for later y’all. And I have a lot of new shit that I would like to spend time working through but It wasn’t the night to try it.

ONE WEEK LATER. Oh snap I get another shot at stand up comedy in Porto! Gonçalo Salazar is hosting the English stand up comedy shows regularly at Selina Porto. And the hostel LOVES the shows and wants them to happen as much as possible. So that’s exciting. I would love to travel up there at least once a month to perform. The weather was nice enough for us to do this show in the courtyard outdoors. Which is kind of a weird set up but it worked out okay. You could fit a loooooot of people in there. I met a few new Portuguese comedians performing in English for the first time, but some familiar faces as well. Check them out! Fredy, Pedro, Joao, Joca. My second time traveling to perform comedy in Porto and I loooooooved it. This city is so nice. I’ve always thought about going to stay in Porto for a while. Maybe one day. But I didn’t have much time to enjoy it this time around. In the morning I had to head back down to Lisbon and get ready for the “Unnecessary comedy night” with Lisbon Comedy.

BACK TO ODD TRINDADE. I love performing at ODD Trindade. It’s the only place I’ve performed that has a comedy club feel. It’s int he basement of a theatre and it’s dark in there. It has an amazing stage setup with great sound. The crowd was great that night. They were locked in and involved with the show. Love that feeling. But yooooooo weirdest shit ever. I’m sitting in my usual spot waiting for the show. Which is like at the bottom of the entrance steps. I like it cause it gives a good view of everything for pictures and stuff even though its kinda in the way. Anyway. I’m sitting there when a group of women are walking down the stairs. I feel someone grab my head but by the time I look up I can’t tell who it could have been. But I figured their hand missed the rail or something even though it felt intentional. And i’m focused thinking about my set so I let this shit sliiiiiiide and moved on. After the show I’m saying goodbye to people before I leave, and in the process of that the head grabber identifies herself while i’m mid-goodbye with someone. THEN SHE BOPS ME IN THE FUCKIN FOREHEAD WITH A WATER BOTTLE! It was empty but still. Who the fuck bops someone they don’t know in the head. I wasn’t even talking to her and she had to announce that she’s out here commiting randoms acts of head grabbing and then I got wacked. That’s one count of cranial molestation follow by an assault. This chick was on a fucking roll that night. Really. The fuck is wrong with people?

But yeah duuuuude four comedy shows in two weeks. And it feels soooooooo good. This is what I do. I get on stage and I say funny shit and people laugh and have a good time and sometimes they assault me. It’s fucking awesome. I started going to the Portuguese comedy shows as well. It’s helping me learn Portuguese. Trying to keep up with the comedians and understanding the context and the nuance of setups and their jokes. It’s tough as shit trying to learn basic conversation, and getting a feel for the greater context or meaning around jokes is like a million times harder. My next challenge? Do a 5 minute set in Portuguese. I was already invited to go up at one of the shows when I’m ready and I’ve already got some jokes planned. They’re a bit different from my Enlgish jokes but I think they’ll work. Or not - dunno till I try. I’m going to do it though. I’m not even nervous. I’m excited. I got this shit bro. This is what I do.

I’m a comedian.