My fifth time doing stand up comedy left the crowd speechless! doh.

Silence. Beautiful, beautiful silence. Offering us time to focus, and think. To relax and contemplate the moment. Silence is a beautiful gift in a world full of notifications, noise, and other auditory distractions. Though one of the worst times to receive this gift is when you’re standing on the stage of a comedy show with a microphone in your hand. Fuck my life.

Well, I LOVED and HATED this show at the same time. I was having a shitty couple of weeks up before this. Nothing like handing over the wheel to angst and frustration. That always ends in a good result, doesn’t it? Well, let’s burn a bit of that fuel by going up there and saying some terrible things. So I did that. I loved it. And I was the only one that loved it apparently. The crowd was spoiling me with silence. That kind of made me love it even more.

I went up first, which was a first for me. You know that whole deal about “warming up the crowd”? Well, that sure seems to be reaaaal as fuck. My set didn’t warm up anyone. It was ice cold y’all. I think one of the biggest things I learned is that I really need to be more dynamic. I didn’t know I was going up first that day, but it shouldn’t matter. I need to be able to switch up material to handle where I’m getting lined up. I’ve seen people have way more success starting out a night with comedic appetizers. Small easy to digest jokes that make the crowd feel warm and satisfied. Then maybe work in some jokes about mocking people who use public transportation and abortion.

That all has me wondering quite a bit… which joke is the one that gets me fired? I’m not exactly channeling Mr. Rodgers up there on stage. Having to live off a day job while also wanting to go up there to experiment with crass humor is troubling. Maybe if I got big enough for it to be a problem it won’t be much of a problem. I’m not really sure what I want out of all this. It’s a lot of fun though and way more exciting than what I’m doing now. It’s a tough balance between the comfortable safe option and saying fuck it I should go out there and spread those wings. I’m finding more opportunities for stage time, so I’m just going to enjoy what I have right now. This might be the best it will ever be.

Another concern I have is generally trying to be creative. After watching the video I feel like the joke about disappointing kids is an old Bill Burr bit. I’m having trouble finding it, but I’m pretty sure there’s a video of him saying something similar. How do I know I didn’t simply copy someone else’s line of thinking from some deep ass memory of watching them? It’s not always easy to google a joke and see if anyone has performed it before. It’s hard enough coming up with something you think is even worth sharing. Now I’m worrying if it’s original. I don’t want to end up on those compilation videos of comedians stealing material like Carlos Mencia or Amy Schumer.